I wasn’t naive, I knew that my body would change when it was time to have a baby. In my mind though it was the pregnancy that would change it the most. I thought that even if the labour and birth might be tough too, as long as I was a fit and healthy person surely I could recover swiftly from it and get back into fitness to a similar level as before?! When the pregnancy was out of the way, right?! Little did I know.
And in hindsight, well… a bit naive.
I had experienced a weird sensation down there – a feeling as if everything was going to fall out ever since the birth, but didn’t think it was anything else than a normal result from the trauma and something that soon would improve. Also considering my labour and birth ended up being quite complex I wasn’t surprised things would not feel the same for a while. I had stitches and it was sore and swollen and as far as possible I wanted to avoid looking at the damage or even feel it properly. I just wanted time to run its course and soon I would be back to normal. That’s what happens right? You give birth and you get back to normal eventually and life goes on, that’s why women are often able to do this again and again, isn’t it?!
About five weeks post birth I suddenly realised what was going on. It was during one of my (still quite rare at that stage) very lame evening walks 5-10min to the supermarket when I felt that dragging sensation down below, and almost as if something was chafing… and all of a sudden it came to me. It’s a prolapse! A pelvic organ prolapse. That must be what’s going on down there! As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom to… let’s say to investigate the matter further, and very soon I had my answer. Well, of course I needed a professional to confirm it but I could clearly tell that something was bulging out from the down there. This was not something I had ever felt there before and I was pretty certain that it was not a “normal” result of the birth. How could I have been so naive? I knew quite well what a prolapse was (which I have now realised in fact many women don’t) as several women in my family have it, but it had still never even crossed my mind it could happen to ME? My world started to spin around me as I tried to understand what this discovery would mean to my life.
I had hoped to be a super woman for the actual birth, that obviously didn’t happen – couldn’t I at least get to be a super human being in the recovery?! I had planned to go back to running as soon as possible, what would happen with that now??