A small blue cube made of silicone.
This little thing suddenly became as essential in my life as breathing. The Cube is in fact a vaginal pessary, which basically is a removable device that is worn inside the vagina. It is designed to add pelvic floor support when these muscles are weak and to support any pelvic organs that have prolapsed. There are LOADS of different types of pessaries out there. My specialist nurse suggested to try this when she understood how important it was to me to try and go back to running despite my newfound ‘dear’ prolapse.
I tried various types (and sizes) of pessaries before finding one that actually worked, the ring shaped ones I started off with kept falling out. Therefore I was almost sceptical to the idea, and I definitely didn’t want to get my hopes up too much. But I was also open-minded about trying if there was something that could potentially help, even if it was just a tiny bit. I was already sick of the feeling of everything falling out of me so anything that could improve it, anything really….
I really didn’t expect it would make such a difference. But now when I have used it pretty much every day for 1.5 – nearly 2 years, I realise that I have become completely dependent on it. It works the way it should by supporting / lifting up the prolapsed structures and as a result makes my day so much more comfortable. It doesn’t remove it completely, and some days are better and some worse, even if I have it. But it generally improves the prolapse when worn. The only time I don’t use the cube is at night time and when I have my period, or sometimes when I only stay at home all day not doing much (although as a mother of a toddler those days are becoming rare!) But when not using the cube I can really tell the difference. I can more clearly than ever feel what activities aggravate the prolapse and what things I need to be cautios with doing. These are things like walking too much, lifting my son, hoovering the floor, blowing up a balloon, sneezing or laughing when standing….
And on days not equipped with the cube, I could definitely not go running.
My journey back to some sort of running (i.e. jogging) has definitely been saved by my cube pessary. I don’t think I would have been able to run (jog) at all without it. I may be wrong. But it would definitely have been an even longer journey than it has already been, this I am certain about. And I am forever grateful that I had this chance.
However. Has the cube made my pelvic floor Lazy?? Is it a bad thing that I have become so dependent on it – am I just masking the problem by using it all the time? I am not sure. It has been discussed on various occassions with professionals and I have the impression it shouldn’t be a problem that I use it pretty much forever if I need to (or until a potential surgery in the future?!) if it in the meantime does the job. But I still keep thinking the thought. Am I doing my body – or more specifically my pelvic floor – a disservice (long term) by letting it get used to the cube pessary?
It would be amazing to hear from others who may have experience of using pessaries, and what your thoughts on them are. How has a pessary worked for you if you use one and how you look at the future – with or without it?
I know I have a few followers on the blog now, and would really love to hear from you!
June 8, 2019 at 14:37
I have just read your blog on the cube, although you wrote it a couple of years ago. I thought you might like to know that I am 67, nearly 68 and have used a cube continuously and succesfully( take it out every night;-) ) for the last 10 years. I was told that I needed a hysterectomy. I refused and after searching on the internet, read about the cube pessary, ordered one, and never looked back and have not needed to consult my doctor. I have had the same experience as you, with so.me days being better than others, but using this little thing ( I’ve had 4 now, all the same size ) has enabled me to do things that would have been impossible for me without it. I can walk for hours, run and dance, and look after my grandchildren and almost completely forget I have a problem : ) Happy to tell you more if you are interested, and I hope you are still successfully using yours.
June 11, 2019 at 22:20
many thanks for your comment, I really appreciate you taking the time to share your experience. Amazing to hear how you found your way to the cube by yourself, and that it has been a game changer for you too (but also a shame that you didn’t get offered this instead of a hysterectomy to start with?!) If I may ask – when did you prolapse, did you suffer for some time before starting with a pessary, or did you find this solution straight away?
I am definitely still using mine, and I went one size bigger after the second birth. I will be writing lots about how that birth came to affect the prolapse but to give you an idea: in this original post I wrote about days when I wouldn’t insert the cube at all if I didn’t get up to much physically. Well, those days don’t exist anymore.. I simply can’t be without the cube!!
June 15, 2020 at 05:28
I found your website through extensive googling to find an answer for my problem 🙂 Your blog could be about me, I recognize so much of what you write! I am also an half-marathon runner, and after suffering a prolapse two years ago due to the birth of my first child, I haven’t dared to run…. Running is a huge part of my identity and it has really taken a toll on my mental health to give it up, and unlike what my gynaecologist claimed when she informed me I cannot “just take up swimming or cycling” instead! Anyhow, after visiting numerous health professionals, desperate to find a way to run, I have decided to start to build it up slowly with a cube. The problem is that I only got some vague instructions about size and stuff, but am too scared to just start trying. Could I possibly email you with some questions about the cube?
In any case thank you so much for your blog, it was very relatable to me and gave me hope, also I feel that the taboo around this medical problem is one of the reasons not enough women are getting help, so congratulations to you for being so honest about this and starting this blog! Thank you!
June 28, 2020 at 06:56
many thanks for your message. I am so pleased to hear you have found my blog useful. I know I have been silent for some time, but there is finally more content coming in the near future which I hope can be of further help to you and others.
I am sorry to hear you have struggled with your prolapse, but glad to hear that you are starting to build up your fitness and trying to get back into running. It’s a scary time especially in the beginning – I can so much relate to it. And yes absolutely, I am more than happy to share more with you via email. Please just remember I am no professional in this area but just using my own experience to base my answers to any questions on. Email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org
Best of luck ion the meantime, and I will be waiting for your email 🙂 Sofia xx