Before having children I think I imagined that I would want my second one about 2 years after the first. Then, that seemed reasonable to me.

Once I was a mother and I knew the toll the pregnancy and birth had taken on my body the months soon became a year and more and I was still not ready to have another baby. Maybe it was the physiotherapist’s word ringing in the back of my mind: ‘Ideally give your body two years of rest post-partum before getting pregnant again’. Like that I would give my body a chance to naturally heal up from the pregnancy and birth and go into another one as strong as possible.

But sometimes I played with the thought of having a second one sooner. Maybe I should think the opposite way instead? What I mean is: going for the next child closer to the first and ‘get it over with’ and then take care of my body damage and potential treatment options afterwards? Because no matter what, I seemed to understand that if I wanted to go down a surgical route for the prolapse then I would have to have all the children I want before. The reason being that there might be no point in doing surgery to correct things when another pregnancy might just mess it up and it needs to be redone anyway. So maybe, if I instead I have all the children I plan to have in a shorter amount of time and then deal with the problems afterwards – at least  that would mean less years passing by in total, I would just decrease the recovery between each pregnancy. And I could sooner focus on getting my body back and hopefully become a runner again?! To be honest, the sensible part of me never really thought this seemed like the way to do things, but I have to admit it sometimes was an intriguing thought.

When I asked the women’s health gynaecology nurse about the matter she said she would rather recommend me to do the running I wish to do Now, before getting pregnant again. To try to reach a few goals now that I was ‘anyway back to running a little bit’. She is such a sweet person and I know she always tries her best but unfortunately she has no understanding of that the running I have managed to do so far postpartum is nowhere near any goals I would actually be happy to set. And even worse, I knew what she was trying to say between the lines….

Another pregnancy and birth might just make things so much worse and I won’t have the chance at all later on…