Ready or not?

I think this happens to many, and for me it was one of the main signs that I was ready to have a baby a few years ago. Suddenly I saw pregnant women everywhere – and I realised that this was what I wanted next. They were literally everywhere: pregnant women and mums with small babies.

So when my son was around 20 months old and I randomly started seeing pregnant women with toddlers around me, or mums with a baby and toddler, I suspected what was going on somewhere in my mind… was it time for baby number two? Was I really ready for that? Would mybody be ready for that?

I hadn’t done more than sort of 6K runs at the most yet, and if I wanted to go for another pregnancy soon-ish then there wouldn’t be time to develop the running much more (for now?). But I had worked so hard to get to this point!! Was I ready to give that up? Would all my work have been for nothing? What if another pregnancy would mess everything up so badly and I can never run AT ALL again?? Should I instead just ignore the mother-instinct of expanding my family and continue with the running first and see where it would take me? On the other hand, if I have the second one now and my body doesn’t take too much further damage there might still be time to work on the running afterwards (before I get too old…!).

But apart from the running, I had had such a tough recovery from the first birth and could I really face going through something like that again? Both physically and psychologically. It had been a long journey to even get back to normal everyday life and this time around I would also have a toddler to look after at the same time. How would that even be possible if I had the same experience next time?

So many emotions. So many questions.

But then I looked at my son and I just knew the answer. This was a decision to be made considering all of us as a family, not just me. Having two sisters myself I know too well how amazing it is to have them. If I could give a sibling to my son I would be giving him a gift for life.

It was time to try for another baby.

 

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