Knowing how the first labour and birth came to affect my life, unavoidably I wondered whether or not I should go for a c-section this time. In fact lots of people around me assumed I would. And some encouraged me to consider it – at least amongst friends and family. Most professionals around me instead seemed to suggest that it wasn’t the birth that would affect the prolapse, it was the pregnancy itself. Especially as the second labour would most probably be faster and easier. Most probably. Statistically that is. No one would be able to say for sure, and I didn’t expect anyone would of course (even if it certainly would help to have someone giving me ‘The right answer’)!!!!
To begin with I just went with the flow. The weeks ticked by, I was tired and nauseous, my toddler kept me busy and my belly grew….and at first labour seemed so far away and I didn’t think much of it. But when I sat down in the doctor’s office and suddenly burst into tears when something regarding giving birth came up, that was when I realised I had a lot of emotions around this topic, more than I had in fact understood myself..
So I allowed myself to try and figure things out. I wanted to weigh my options against one another and try to understand what different scenarios could mean, and also what they would actually mean to me. I talked about it with my midwife, physio, obstetrician, family and friends. Considering my history I would be ‘okayed’ quite easily for a caesarian. So that wasn’t a problem… but yes, statistically this birth ‘should’ be easier. And as long as it was straight forward – my prolapse wouldn’t necessarily get worse. Apparently? A caesarian instead would come with its own risks. Apart from being a stomach surgery and everything that entails in terms of infection risk, bleedings, not being able to lift for several weeks after…. but my personal worry about a c-section would be the fact of laying on my back. And this had nothing to do with the prolapse, but my coccyx. The first time around my tailbone pain was so much intensified partly due to laying on my back for too long and this time I was determined to avoid that position to all costs..
I was not against c-section. But my heart wanted a natural birth. I think in a way I wanted to get some sort of revenge and just do it awesome this time. Without that epidural. Without forceps.
But was a caesarean the more sensible thing to do in my situation? What if it was too risky for my prolapse (and maybe also for the coccyx) to give birth vaginally again. After all I also had to think about my family, they needed me fit enough afterwards to get on with our life!
So what was the right choice?