She was walking in front of me and I had seen her many times before
One of those fit and healthy looking mums and impossible for me to ignore. 


Her youngest child in the hand, who must have been around three
And I had to ask myself if this kind of mum could ever be me? 


They were skipping along while the little one shouted 'more'!
I couldn't help but wonder about the state of the mother's pelvic floor.


I'd expect some things postpartum - temporary incontinence or a sore boob
But I'd never imagine my uterus would need constant support by a cube.


Not only fit mums but also others would affect me time and time again 
Usually runners of course and they were younger, older, women, also men.


It wouldn’t matter if they were keeping a slow or faster pace 
Behind their backs I'd have an angry (or maybe more a jealous) looking face.


Baby weight might be long gone and I was again starting to look fit
But 18 months postpartum I was still not running - not even a little bit.


I'd resent my body and pelvic organs that fell down from their usual place
Not visible for others but with the prolapse I lost confidence and grace.


Who would have thought that I'd loose so much of myself on the way?
But what did you expect after children you might hear some people say. 


Is nobody else struggling physically since their baby was born?
Is it just my body that feels so damaged and worn?


It often feels as if longterm postnatal problems only happened to me
That countless of other women suffer after childbirth is really hard to see.


But that’s why I’m here writing about this and reaching out to you
I aim for a better understanding and to break the pelvic health taboo.