A small blue cube made of silicone.
This little thing suddenly became as essential in my life as breathing. The Cube is in fact a vaginal pessary, which basically is a removable device that is worn inside the vagina. It is designed to add pelvic floor support when these muscles are weak and to support any pelvic organs that have prolapsed. There are LOADS of different types of pessaries out there. My specialist nurse suggested to try this when she understood how important it was to me to try and go back to running despite my newfound ‘dear’ prolapse.
I tried various types (and sizes) of pessaries before finding one that actually worked, the ring shaped ones I started off with kept falling out. Therefore I was almost sceptical to the idea, and I definitely didn’t want to get my hopes up too much. But I was also open-minded about trying if there was something that could potentially help, even if it was just a tiny bit. I was already sick of the feeling of everything falling out of me so anything that could improve it, anything really….
I really didn’t expect it would make such a difference. But now when I have used it pretty much every day for 1.5 – nearly 2 years, I realise that I have become completely dependent on it. It works the way it should by supporting / lifting up the prolapsed structures and as a result makes my day so much more comfortable. It doesn’t remove it completely, and some days are better and some worse, even if I have it. But it generally improves the prolapse when worn. The only time I don’t use the cube is at night time and when I have my period, or sometimes when I only stay at home all day not doing much (although as a mother of a toddler those days are becoming rare!) But when not using the cube I can really tell the difference. I can more clearly than ever feel what activities aggravate the prolapse and what things I need to be cautios with doing. These are things like walking too much, lifting my son, hoovering the floor, blowing up a balloon, sneezing or laughing when standing….
And on days not equipped with the cube, I could definitely not go running.
My journey back to some sort of running (i.e. jogging) has definitely been saved by my cube pessary. I don’t think I would have been able to run (jog) at all without it. I may be wrong. But it would definitely have been an even longer journey than it has already been, this I am certain about. And I am forever grateful that I had this chance.
However. Has the cube made my pelvic floor Lazy?? Is it a bad thing that I have become so dependent on it – am I just masking the problem by using it all the time? I am not sure. It has been discussed on various occassions with professionals and I have the impression it shouldn’t be a problem that I use it pretty much forever if I need to (or until a potential surgery in the future?!) if it in the meantime does the job. But I still keep thinking the thought. Am I doing my body – or more specifically my pelvic floor – a disservice (long term) by letting it get used to the cube pessary?
It would be amazing to hear from others who may have experience of using pessaries, and what your thoughts on them are. How has a pessary worked for you if you use one and how you look at the future – with or without it?
I know I have a few followers on the blog now, and would really love to hear from you!